Yesterday was the last therapy-session. It might sound like a wierd comparison but it feels sort of like when I had to leave the boardingschool in Åsa after two years. A bit sad, a bit scary and at the same time exhilarating. But how can I compare leaving school with leaving therapy, you might ask? Well firstly, in both cases I found a place where I at length felt secure enough not to hide myself behind a mask and it's feels intimidating having to leave. Secondly, I forged a kind of bond, respected and got respect in return from the others in the group. The third likeness is that both times I have grown as an individual and can stand firm in a way I couldn't before. But just because I'm stronger after these ten sessions doesn't mean that I don't need to keep working. Quite the contrary. I've only just started. The others in the group felt a bit the same so we've decided to keep on seeing each other once a week to talk and work together.

Medical update: Last week I had a meeting with my doc. Since I haven't reacted negatively in any way since we started lowering my doses we decided to keep going. We lowered the dose on two of the meds and if everything feels fine in six weeks we will remove one of them entirely! 

This post will be quite long since I've added the lyrics to a song I like.
Yesterday was the first time since my relapse that I wore short sleeves in public. The temperature outside was about 24 degrees Celsius. Anyway, I took a long walk down to the dock and back home. I had a thin summer jacket on and an equally thin jumper and by the time I reached the dock I was so warm I had to take the jacket of and roll up the sleeves of my jumper. I could have taken the jumper off as well I guess but I didn't feel comfortable enough.

Of course people stared and some commented but I'm used to it by now. I mean, I have the same right as everyone else to go around in a t-shirt if I like. Today when I was on my way home from therapy, three girls came towards me with one of those cans where you can put money as a donation. The girl holding the can started asking me if I would like to give some money to the organization but then she saw my arms and her eyes went wide open. Like I was some kind of freak. I looked back at her and then walked off. It's not as if I don't understand those who stare, I know it can look scary if you're not used to it. It's the fact that some people are so quick to judge you that ticks me off. There is a new song that relates to this. It's called "Skin" and it's from the band Sixx A.M. If you want to hear the song, you can find it on Youtube, just search for "Skin". Here are the lyrics:

Verse 1
Paint yourself a picture
of what you wished you looked like.
Maybe then they just might
feel an ounce of your pain.
Come into focus,
step out of the shadows.
It's a losing battle,
there's no need to be ashamed.

Refrain:
'Cause they don't even know you,
all they see is scars.
They don't see the angel,
living in your heart.
Let them find the real you,
buried deep within.
Let them know with all you've got,
that you are not your skin

Verse 2
When they start to judge you
show them your true colors,
and do onto others
as you'd have done to you.
Just rise above this,
kill them with your kindness.
Ignorance is blindness,
They're the ones who stand to lose.

Refrain

Vers 3
Same as the refrain.