Time never ceases to surprise me. It's already been a whole month since the relapse. It feels like it's been both shorter and longer than that. Can't really explain. Work has helped me keep my mind off it, which is good. I've started working in a small, cozy second hand shop, three days a week for three hours. Perfect start. This is my second week there. I was a bit worried at first, new place and all that but so far it's been great. The only thing that makes me a little nervous is that I'm not allowed to wear my armwarmers in the café. I understand why but it still bugs me. I don't want anyone to know, at least not yet. So I've started rolling them up so my hands are free but without exposing anything else.
I've known from the start that my abstinence will be more persistent for a while, now that it's been such a long time since I did anything (I'm talking about the amount of time before the incident) so I've been able to battle it. The tricks I use right now are writing, talking walks when the weather permits it and reliving the day I got my tattoo. The feeling of victory, that I had managed a whole year and this was my reward, my proof of being as strong as people said I am. That one helps me the most.
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