The end of one road, the beginning of another?

I've reached another milestone on my way to recovery. For years I have been sceptical of going to group therapy, my need for privacy being what it is. But for some time now I have been thinking and I feel I'm ready for it. Partly because I know I have to work with myself, overcome things in my past and so on. But also as a way to meet other people in my situation who understand what I'm going through without me having to go into detail. True, my shrink at the clinic has helped me with some things but there's something missing and I can't work with her. Last Tuesday I told her how I felt and we agreed that I think it over until next time, which is tomorrow, and then decide. So tomorrow will be our last session. I'm not leaving the clinic though, just the therapist. As soon as I know if I'm accepted to join this particular group I'll post an update here about it.

Week 4

Time never ceases to surprise me. It's already been a whole month since the relapse. It feels like it's been both shorter and longer than that. Can't really explain. Work has helped me keep my mind off it, which is good. I've started working in a small, cozy second hand shop, three days a week for three hours. Perfect start. This is my second week there. I was a bit worried at first, new place and all that but so far it's been great. The only thing that makes me a little nervous is that I'm not allowed to wear my armwarmers in the café. I understand why but it still bugs me. I don't want anyone to know, at least not yet. So I've started rolling them up so my hands are free but without exposing anything else.

I've known from the start that my abstinence will be more persistent for a while, now that it's been such a long time since I did anything (I'm talking about the amount of time before the incident) so I've been able to battle it. The tricks I use right now are writing, talking walks when the weather permits it and reliving the day I got my tattoo. The feeling of victory, that I had managed a whole year and this was my reward, my proof of being as strong as people said I am. That one helps me the most.